Things seen and heard

I just want to share a few of the things that I have read or heard over the last 5 weeks that I have found bizarre, funny, or very apt. I'm sure that I am forgetting a ton!

"My maid can come to your house if you want. But she doesn't do laundry. Her caste doesn't wash clothes" - my friend Ruchir

"The country (India) is convinced it can pole-vault over the basics: develop world-class computer and management institutes without achieving basic literacy; provide advanced cardiac surgery and diagnostic imaging facilities while the most easily avoidable childhood diseases run rampant; sell washing machines that depend on a non-existent water supply from shops that are dark most hours of the day because of power cuts; support a dozen private and public companies offering mobile phone services, while the basic land telephone network is in terrible shape; drive scores of new cars that go from 0 to 60 in ten seconds without any roads where they might do this without killing everything inside and out, man and beast." - Suketu Mehta Maximum City

"I am diabetic and don't have water. My husband is also diabetic. We don't have water." - Veena my neighbour

"I need to sit down, I just had surgery." - Mrs. Chablani, my landlady

"She was yelling at me all night: do you not see the bags under my eyes and how tired I am. She yells at me in the street and on the phone!" - Mrs. Chablani about my neighbour

"Please honk" which is written on the back of large vehicles and some taxis. For those of you who know India, everyone honks ALL THE TIME. The first time I read this, I thought it was ironic. Equally amusing, signs which read 'Silence Zone'.

"Toilet Etiquettes" (it is already starting out well) in my building. Here are some of my favourites:

15. Do not indulge in gossip circles inside the toilets.
10. Don't peak under the doors, knock if you feel the toilet cubicle is occupied.
4. Squat only on squatting toilets, pedestal toilets are for sitting. (I didn't know there was such a thing as a pedestal toilet)
3. (and my personal fav) If one flush does not suffice, please wait and flush more than once to ensure your pee and poo are done away with. (I try to do this, but the water pressure is so bad that it takes about 10 minutes for the tank to refill)

Each cubicle has a hose and a nosel. I asked an American (at a very fancy doo) what it was for.

"I've lived here for 7 years and I only really understood what it was for last year! The hose is for the butt. And only the butt." -Melanie Abraham (prof at Standford, I think, and recent published author).

And often there is no toilet paper.

"Then you just drip dry!" -Namrata Zakaria, my editor at Indian Express (at the same fancy doo)

Dharavi Slum Tour

Less than a 10 minute taxi-ride from where I am currently living is the biggest slum in Asia. It is called Dharavi and is estimated to house 1 million people, though 3 million unofficially (and more realistically). If I remember correctly, it occupies 1.5 hectares squared of land.

The above photo is where plastic for recycling is laid out to dry. We went up on the tin roof, where this man is standing. From here you can see the entire slum. It is extraordinary. Breathteaking. And heartbreaking.

Here, the plastic has been melted down and is being cooled in strips. They will then be cut into pellets and dyed. The pellets will be sold back to plastics companies. Workers spend 12-14 hours a day in these make-shift plants.

Here, paint cans are cleaned and repaired. They, too, will be sold back to manufacturers. The estimated turn over in the slum is $665 million (American) annually. All industry here is illegual because it does not conform with environmental standards. Taxes are still paid to the governement, nonetheless. The days are long and the work is hard, but Dharavi can sustain itself independently. Other slum dwellers rely on contract work. They wait for hours starting at 6:30 am to see if they will be chosen to work that day. If they are not, they wait until the next day. And do nothing in between.

There are 7 toilets for thousands of residents. The passageways between the houses are so narrow that only one person can pass at a time. I often have to duck to avoid hitting my head against hanging branches, wires and god know's what. The pavement is cracked and stepping wrongly sends dirty water shooting up over my feet and calves. The insides of homes look clean, some lit with the intimate glow of a television screen. Open sewers run along the ground with translucent sludge flowing through them.

The slum, which is legal (because it was 'built' before 1995 and the law changed) will be gradually torn down over the next two years. Housing complexes will go up in its place and the residents will be given a room 2-3 m2 in size per family. The industry will no longer exist. Those who do can not be accommodated by the new residences will be shipped outside of the city.

Here, they have schools (though crowded) and water (though only a few hours a day) and most importantly they have each other. I have never felt a sense of community as I did visiting this place. I read that the residents are not worried about loosing their homes, so much as feeling lonely in the next complexes. I think that that is probably true.

All the photos were provided by the tour company. We were not allowed to take photos during the tour, to show respect for the people living there. I asked the director of the tour company how the residents felt about tourists coming into their living space. He said that initially they were very angry, but now they understand that the foreigners just want to understand how they live. During the tour, the people in the Dharavi slum took pictures of us. I feel that that is fair.

La Solitude

Il y a 14 million d'habitants à Mumbai. Ca veut dire que je suis entourée des dizaines, des centaines, voir des milliers de personnes (surtout dans le train) tout le temps.

Plus que la chaleur, le bruit, la saleté, ce que trouve le plus difficile c'est de ne jamais pouvoir être seule.

Dans mon appartement, il y a souvent les personnes qui viennent me voire: ma voisine (pour l'eau), les propriétaires (pour l'argent), le plombier (pour je ne sais pas quoi). Tous les jours, quelqu'un frappe à ma porte.

La voisine, c'est de moins en moins parce que maintenant on s'en gueule et elle s'est rendue compte que je ne vais pas la permettre de me marcher dessous.

Les propriétaires: "On sait que tu es censée payer demain, mais si tu as l'argent aujourd'hui... et puis il faut aussi payer la femme de ménage..."

Le plombier. Je ne sais pas ce qu'il veut parce qu'il ne parle pas anglais et je ne parle pas hindi. La première fois qu'il est venu, j'ai appelé une copine pour qu'elle pourrait traduire. Maintenant je n'ai plus envie de gaspier ni mon temps ni mon crédit parce que la voisine est convaincue qu'il y a une fuite d'eau. Si elle est si inquitète elle pourrait venir aussi.

Les restos, les cafés, les plages, les rues sont blindés tout le temps. Dans le train entre 22h et 22h30, on est presque seul. C'est rare et agréable. A partir de 22h30, c'est une très mauvaise idée d'être une femme seule dans le wagon. Il faut prendre un taxi.

Entre la station et mon bureau je me promène sur Marine Drive. Je prends le trottoir peu fréquentait et là, pendant 10 minutes, j'arrive à respirer. A trouver un moment tranquil. Il y la circulation dans la rue, mais pas trop, surtout pour cette ville surpeuplée.

Si vous ne me voyez pas en rentrant à Paris, c'est parce que je suis seule, et contente, quelque part. Seule.

Plus qu'adulte: c'est chiant!

En plein bouchon vers Bandra, à coté de la mer

Ma mère est arrivée il y plus qu'une semaine. Et il y a quelque chose de bizarre qui a changé dans notre relation. C'est moi qui est censée prendre toutes les decisions (qu'est-ce qu'on va faire, manger, ou aller, tout) et c'est moi qui est responsable non seulement pour moi-même, mais aussi ma mère d'une cinquantaine d'années. Je ne suis pas sure de bien aimer cette nouvelle situation.

Elle est venue me rendre visite à Paris il y 3 ans maintenant. A l'époque, j'habitais dans la ville depuis 6 mois mais j'arrivais à m'orienter plutot bien. De plus, elle ne parle pas français, or 'bonjour' et 'merci', alors son appréhension avec des vendeurs et les serveurs dans les restos étaient plus compréhensibles.

Marine Drive, pendant la marée haute

Je suis à Mumbai depuis 5 semaines. La ville est immense et très difficile à naviguer parce qu'aucune rue est marquée. Je demande les lieux aux gens, je prends de taxis aux endroits que je ne connais pas, souvent je redemande aux gens, bref, je me debrouille le mieux possible, mais je suis loin d'être experte. J'ai essayé d'expliquer tout cela à ma mère, mais elle ne semble toujours pas comprendre.

Band Stand, Bandra

Elle: "Pourquoi est-ce que que les taxis conduisent aussi vite?"
Moi: "Je ne sais pas."
Elle: "Est-ce que les bus à deux-étages datent de l'époque des britanniques?"
Moi: "Je ne sais pas."
Elle: "Est-ce qu'on va jamais pouvoir traverser la rue?"
Moi: "Je ne sais pas."
Elle: "Pourquoi est-ce que ta voisine (folle) n'a pas d'eau?"
Moi: "Je ne sais pas."

J'ai l'impression, parfois, de répondre aux questions incessantes. Je félicite sa curiosité, c'est tout simplement que je n'ai pas les réponses et ça me fatigue de dire "je ne sais pas".

Marine Drive, les vagues arrosent la promenade

J'explique pourquoi elle doit faire certaines choses (s'asseoir ou je lui ai demandé parce que sinon je ne la vois pas et je ne descends pas du boulot - ce qu'elle n'a pas fait et donc m'a attendue pendant une heure) et aussi qu'il faut qu'elle ait un avis de temps en temps (c'est aussi fatiguant d'entre les 'je ne sais pas'). Mais, parfois, la patience m'échappe.

Elle part demain pendant 5 jours à Delhi, ou elle va rester chez la mère d'un ami. Après on voyage pendant 6 jours avant que je rentre à Paris et elle au Canada. Je me souviens pourquoi j'aime voyager seule - mais j'essaye de trouver du plaisir en partagant les expériences avec quelqu'un d'autre.

(Et les photos sont simplement pour le plaisir et pas forcément liées au texte. C'est mon blog. Je fais ce que je veux.)

Apu WHO?

... in July 29th Indian Express

His name is Apu Nahasapeemapetilon… A-pu Na-ha-sa-peem-apet-ilon… APU NA-HA-SA-PEE-MA-PET-IL-ON. Oh, just forget it. Apu is fine. This beloved Simpsons’ character was, for years, one of the only representations of Indians in American society: seemingly unpronounceable surname, accent thick as muck, menial job as the sole Kwik E Mart attendant. Today, Indians or characters of Indian origin are doctors, geneticists and specialists in astrophysics. Have American prejudices changed? Have Indians changed? Or are Indians becoming Americanised?

In the beginning, American TV created Apu. Few would argue that for a long time, he was the archetypal ‘Indian’ to a greater Western audience – and if we’re talking about stereotypes, an ignorant audience at that. But for some, the satirical cartoon show was not far off the mark. “Apu was portrayed as he should have been, as a thrifty businessman who cut corners where ever he could,” says Rishi Alwani, a long-time Simpsons fan. “Now, everything’s too politically correct for its own good and TV producers are always walking in a tightrope,” he continues.

Another avid Simpsons follower, Flavian Patrao, 23, describes the beloved Hindu as an exaggeration of how Indians are, but not the only representation. He sites the hugely successful comedy, The Big Bang Theory, which portrays physicist Rajesh Koothrappali (Kunal Nayyar) as a different kind of Indian. Educated, hard-working, and paralysing shy with girls, Koothrappali represents the hordes of young Indians who go to the US dreaming of a different life. “I identify with both characters, but more with Koothrappali” says Patrao, who is a research consultant. “But both are hilarious”.

Television personality Archana Puran Singh, remembers The Simpsons rather vaguely, but Apu’s “appauling” accent instantly springs to memory. But as Indians investigate crimes and solve seemingly unsolvable medical cases, Singh no longer identifies herself with these Westernised Indian characters and their perfect white teeth. Referring to Mohinder Suresh (Sendhil Ramamurthy) in Heroes, a geneticist with super-human strength, Sing says, “There is no Indian-ness about him. He talks with an American accent.” And with a hint of disdain adds: “these characters are not Indian, they’re American”.

Anil Kapoor, who plays Omar Hassan along side Kiefer Sutherland in 24, sees more and more Indian actors going to the West. Talking with an Indian Express reporter earlier this year, he said that for him, this influx of Indian talent is a welcome change. He concedes that the plots and characters are necessarily different than what would be found here at home, but the audiences are not the same either. For Kapoor, exposure is what counts.

Whether or not Indians on the Southern Continent can identify with those portrayed on the television screen, at least now the panoply of characters has expanded from one to many. And if Anil Kapoor is right, this is just the beginning.

Indian Marriage

So these are a few photos from the wedding that I went to on Sunday. The groom is Natasha's mom's cousin. Natasha is standing next to me, also in red.

First, we waited while the groom got dressed (which took ages - worse than a woman, and longer than the bride). We ate sweet snacks while he got ready.

Then a mask is put on him so that he can't see.

He then is goes out to the horse, where people are waiting and cheering. There is a band playing the entire time (band means two guys with drums).

Normally, the horse is supposed to take the groom all the way to the temple, but in this case, he went 5 minutes and then took his Suzuki Swift.

The bride's family is waiting for the groom (and in this case the bride as well), and her sisters are supposed to try to steal his shoes, while his family protects them. In the end, it was a tie: one shoe each.

Then, at the temple we sat cross legged while things happened. At one stage, the groom held a pink scarf, which the bride also held and then they walked around some sort of temply/pyramidy looking thing. Everything happened in Hindi and I am fuzzy on the details.

It was nice. And afterward, there was food. Of course.

(And I apologize for the format of the photos - I tried to rearrange them, but without success.)

Bollywood... encore

C'est très bete, mais assez drole...

Hier, j'ai été à une conférence de presse pas particulièrement intéressante pour un couturier indien qui j'ai rencontré il n'y a pas longtemps. C'était dans un lieu sympa et après il y avait un diner assez impressionant.

Lors de la soirée, j'ai parlé avec mon premier 'star' bollywoodien. Il s'appelle Neil Nitin Mukesh et c'est le deuxième de la gauche sur l'affiche.

On a discuté les montagnes rocheuses à Disney World en Floride et il m'a dit qu'il ne va plus sur ces genres de trucs après avoir sauter 9 étages dans son dernier film. Maintenant il a le vertige.

C'est une petite expérience ludique que je voulais en partager. Ma vie est remplie de moments droles et décalés. Ce n'est pas que la tristesse.